i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
