lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
