He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
