Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize