After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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