none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
