Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Someone shattered a urinal.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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