guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize