Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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