can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
