He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
