apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Randomize
