I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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