I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
