i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
