i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
