this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
