The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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