overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize