No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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