Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
