"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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