Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
