please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize