Moan for me like Helen Keller
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
