This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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