I wanna bring you to show and tell
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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