Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
