i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
