So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
