I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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