please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
