Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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