Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
