he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
