He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you had me at cake vodka
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
