I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize