All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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