Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I want her autograph on my taint
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
