I will die if light touches me.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
