At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Let's get the cat blown out
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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