I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
