Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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