I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
