and you said cock pushups were impossible
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
