You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
