Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Randomize