i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize