sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
