Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i believe in u and ur pee
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
