i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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