guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
