I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
third nipple confirmed
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize