Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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