By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize