let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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