My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
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